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Old 11-05-2011, 11:47 AM
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Mya Mya is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 512

Ok, I got one about sex as well. We had a sex problem too but it wasn't the same as you guys. I'll share it anyway in case there's something helpful for someone. At one point me and JJ also started noticing a decrease in amount of sex. For us it wasn't that much about one rejecting the other, but more about neither one initiating. We started discussing the subject and it turned out that both of us were somewhat afraid of rejection, even though neither had many bad experiences about that. I don't really know where that fear came from, but it existed for both of us. So we started using a system that may sound silly but worked for us. We have two fridge magnets, one for each of us. If I feel like having sex, I just move my magnet to a specific spot on the fridge and when JJ sees that, he knows that I'm in the mood. If he's in the mood as well, he can easily initiate without the fear of rejection. Also, if he doesn't want to, I don't have to be rejected either. And this works both ways obviously. That's not the only way we let each other know we're in the mood (sometimes we say it directly as well, or show it in other ways), but it really helps with this specific problem. For me one big issue this has helped with is that I think about sex more. Every time I see his magnet being in the right spot (I don't know why that sounded a bit dirty, am I the only one? ), I start evaluating whether I want sex or not. If I wouldn't have that kind of pressure-free reminder, I'm sure I would think about sex less.
Me: bi woman in my 30's
Partner: Jasmin
Casually dating Marco and others
Metamour: Kaspar
Living with Dahlia and Eddie (friends)

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