Originally Posted by DubiousProposition
My kids are 2 and 7. I don't think I could put them through that. I have to protect them. I can't let them think ill of their mother. Ever.
I would take the fall for the marriage failing before that.
Okay, calm down for a minute and stop being melodramatic. Nobody has to take "the fall" for a marriage ending. Sometimes things just don't work out, and it's very sad and very stressful but it doesn't mean either of you are bad people or that someone has to be the "bad guy" for the kids.
But I'm very sorry to hear that your wife is reacting this way! What is going on with her? Does she want to leave you for the other fellow? Or is she genuinely concerned that you won't be able to handle more of a poly arrangement?
Is it possible she wants to come onto this thread and read what we wrote? I think she would see that you are really trying to adjust, even though you may have reacted with anger and sarcasm when she first told you about her feelings for this man.