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Old 11-03-2011, 02:41 PM
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vixtresses vixtresses is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: South Florida
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Well, no huge developments, but a few new things.

The guy I mentioned who I won't be fucking anymore resurfaced. He actually said a few non-assholish things, which was surprising. He said things like "I've realized I'm not emotionally available enough to be doing that with anyone right now, and that's not fair to you", which was REALLY shocking to me. Apparently he'd been with another girl since he last saw me, and she told him he was treating her like a whore (which was pretty much how he was treating me), so I guess the message sunk in and he was feeling bad about it. It was nice to hear some decent human being type things from him. I'm going to call him Macho on here, in case I write more about him some other time.

The roommate's brother, I've been calling him HotStuff when talking about him to another friend, so I'll go with that over here too. He's been still in his funk, but I saw him just before Halloween weekend, and we had a great time. He text me the next morning to say that he really enjoyed my company and hoped I was having a relaxing day. I thought that was really sweet. He's still feeling isolative, though - I messaged him on fb at the end of the weekend and he said that he wasn't feeling very talkative, so I told him that was fine; I just wanted to share a grin about Friday's activities. He seemed to like that. Haven't spoken much since then, though, but I hope to brighten his funk a little this week again.

The newest guy, the one I went on a date with... I haven't thought of a nickname for him. He's really nice, down to earth, and all around great company though. I have a pretty huge crush on him. We've been together one more time since that date. I was feeling frisky, so I sent him a pretty blatantly forward text message and got myself invited over, and we had a great time. I've been kind of hesitant when discussing with him what I'm doing in terms of my love/sex life right now. I've said that I want to be single for a while, I've made references to guys I've slept with recently, etc, but I haven't spelled it out clearly, like "I'm going to be non-exclusive for the foreseeable future. Just thought you should know." I think he's gotten the gist, though, because he's made lighthearted comments like "Do anyone fun this weekend?" which would indicate to me that he's aware I'm not exclusive. I think I'm going to have to make sure I have a more clear conversation about it though. I do really like him, I guess that's why I'm hesitant, which is stupid. I sort of feel like if I'm too clear, he'll get freaked out and run off, which would be disappointing. I could see us being pretty compatible as more than just casual lovers, but I'm still figuring myself out and learning whether I'm actually "poly" or if I'm just sowing my wild oats while I'm young or what. I think the fact that I could see us being pretty compatible is intimidating me on some level.

As far as other news, the only other new thing is that an old flame of mine resurfaced. He's married. Incidentally, this is the guy who I thought about when I realized I might be poly because I remembered really caring about him and my ex at the same time. There is a magnetic attraction still, BUT he's married. And not poly. Part of me is THRILLED to be back in contact with him and wants to listen to him and catch up with him, but the other part of me is throwing up red flags and warning flares because it sounds like he's thinking about cheating on his wife. I don't want to be the other woman. I do want to be his friend. But with the attraction in place, I guess what we are really isn't friends. At any rate, I'm being very wary.

Nothing more really new.
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