Thread: Turnabout
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Old 11-03-2011, 11:44 AM
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Carma Carma is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Ohio
Posts: 478

Sundance stayed the night with Barbie last night, I stayed home with the kids and it was a GREAT night! I felt more peace than I've felt in a long time. He called at 8:00 to check that everything was ok at home, I said we're all doing fine. He tried his usual tact, "Well, I'm not sure I'm fine, I miss being home...." but I cheerfully cut him off and said, "It's only one night, don't worry, you'll be here tomorrow." We said goodbye and I focused on the kids all night and never once swirled like I did LAST Wednesday. (Last Wednesday he had all kinds of schemes running, as you recall, saying he's not staying, when all the while he had his stuff packed; and saying he was staying at a hotel, and saying she was only going to be with him til 10:00....) My head was swirling with his lies, and this week there weren't any! Except the "I miss you....." one, but he may miss what he wished were possible, anyway. The same way I do sometimes. But I don't miss the reality of what our marriage had become. (And I'm sure he wasn't missing home too much when Barbie put it all down, DUH! )

I have seen Butch a few times, but we've kept it platonic and friendly, and that has been terrific too. His heart is still very weak, and he's been feeling strange. So aside from the fact that he doesn't really want to get tangled up in my marital drama again, we are both respecting the limitations of his heart, i.e. sex could KILL him! He is such an incredible man. You wouldn't even believe the shit he's gone through, and he still holds his head up. I would be curled up in a ball if I were him.

I'm so glad I had so much support through this process. I wish we could all meet in person so I could give you each a big hug. Please accept a cyber squeeze as the best I can do.
Formerly married to Sundance
Boyfriend -- Butch Cassidy
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