Originally Posted by suziesue
Do you find in your relationships there is inevitably a certain amount of communication that goes via other partners to get to you, or do you view this as negative or try to avoid this?
yes there is, and I have grown to trust that there is no deceit involved and no reason for me to be concerned... Just as long as I get the information and it correct. Does it really matter who someone talks to as long as you are kept in the loop and things happen as is said they will?
If the information gets jumbled at some point then I will address that and ask whomever to come straight to me instead. I support going right to the person where ever possible and they do to, but sometimes it just saves time and that fine. I don't take it on. We are more than two and that is just part of it. Its not the same as two where there is direct communication all the time.
I liked NYCindie's response of what to say. I don't fine it passive aggressive at all. I never assume I know anything and always check even if I'm pretty sure I got it right. I tend to repeat back what people say quite often. Sometimes what I understand to be what they say is different than what they meant or different from what I understood.
If it were you, I would try to make sure there is not a passive aggressive tone and just ask for clarification and then say I am just learning how you two communicate. I find that all too often people get to caught up in how they might come across, wanting to express they are right in some way as if its a competition, and make assumptions about what was said. I just ask for clarification. Its more productive and I rarely get defensive or resentful as a result. To those I ask; they get to feel like I care, that I paid attention and the I respect their input and participation.