Originally Posted by NightDragon
And now even if she does choose to be with me, I can no longer accept DragonBorn in our relationship. I can not trust him. He gave me his word that if problems arrose with me and DF that he would at least back off temporarily. Instead he's waiting to hear DF's decision and find out if he's the lucky one. I thought he was my friend. I trusted him. And now because of him I run the risk of loosing the best thing that has ever happened in my life. I loose my world, everything.
I know it's hard to give clear cut answers when emotionally you are spinning out of control. But I have some questions...
Why are you and he "waiting to hear DF's decision"?
Did one of you give her an ultimatum?
How is the fact that he's doing the same thing as you are making him untrustable?
It's a gut instinct-with no confirmed info-so please bare with me.
But it sounds like maybe you are being a little bit of a drama king?
OBVIOUSLY you are hurt, upset, scared and freaking out-that's OK.
But I guess I wonder if you can't understand that all three of you are in this situation and each of you is human, prone to mistakes and prone to confusing emotions as well.
I'm pretty sure I read a thread earlier (correct me if I'm wrong) that you were having issues with her emotions for the other guy. But honey-please don't take this as condescending, she can no more control her emotions than you are controlling yours right now.
Loving him-does NOT necessarily mean she does not love you....
I'm not trying to be difficult-I know pain is pain.
But I also know that Maca gave me an ultimatum at one time that it was he or C. I chose him-lost myself, we nearly lost our marriage because of that. So I went behind his back to find myself again-and we nearly lost our marriage because of that.
Only now when he's accepted that it is simply IMPOSSIBLE for me to just "stop loving" C because Maca is insecure and Maca is leaning on me lightly for support while working his BUTT off to deal with his issues, have we found the marriage we always wanted and he thought my love for C would steal from him.....
I can't help but wonder if your undealt with fears are the true cause of you pain right now and not anything he did......