I think I might do that exercise too. It could be useful. Thanks!
I can relate to how you are feeling. I have often felt suffocated in my relationships. I found myself wanting to leave and go it alone (similar story, 42 and never been single since I was 15), but then think of how I would feel at the end of the day when I have no one to "come home to." I realized that I need to work on being more independent, not being single (that was 4 years ago).
I understand if you think being single is better for you. It might very well be. I thought I would mention it though because you said she struggles when you express a desire to be more independent and wondered if you would stay if you had that independence.
PN has been incredible at providing me as much space as I need. He is amazing at being my "home." I am so grateful for that. Its completely clear to me now that I, like Mags, enjoy the commitment, but need the space. This is what I work on rather than working on ways to leave. Perhaps that is an option for you, or perhaps you really are done.