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Old 11-01-2011, 08:30 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by beginninglove View Post
Hmmm let's see...

I have felt anxiously ambivalent about my relationship with Alex for almost a year and this feeling is intensifying...and this is what I want. . . .

Interesting exercise. It definitely helps me tap into a sense that I DO have some agency in all of this, in terms of choosing to accept what is, or think about what my role is in changing it.
Well, it's more helpful if you just do it in the moment during the course of your day, rather than as a writing exercise which can get a little more intellectual. First, it helps one to identify all those times we complain in our head about stuff. Many people don't realize how often we grumble about things, and how addicted we are to just being miserable. So sometimes, even if one forgets to add that bit to the end of a sentence, just giving oneself the task of noticing how often in a day we complain about our lives is an eye-opener. And then adding that last part just makes us realize how much our happiness really is an inside job.

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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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