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Old 11-01-2011, 06:23 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
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Originally Posted by suziesue View Post
You seem to first say that I should have made a big deal of it, and then say it shouldn't be a big deal.
Really? Does the way I worded it -- "Oh, I thought you were going to let me know when you were ready. Did I have that right?" -- actually sound like making a big deal out of it to you? That's interesting, because I wrote it in a way that I thought was simply asking for clarification directly, without being infused with drama. And to say, "Did I have that right?" would put the responsibility on yourself in making sure you understood things correctly, so it doesn't come across as blaming. If you see that as making a big deal out of it, then perhaps you may need to look at getting more comfortable with being assertive and expressing what you need.

Originally Posted by suziesue View Post
As I explained, this was one of several similar incidents, so it would be a pretty weird coincidence if he's repeatedly 'accidentally' contacting the wrong person and it only happens when contacting me and always happens to be to her, don't you think?
Yeah, well, when you said there were similar incidents, I didn't get that they were all about texting. Sorry about that. But how would I know what you meant by "similar?" They all could have been similar misunderstandings, but... ??? Another example of the importance of clear communication.

So, basically, whether it's this issue or another, if something is bothering you, let them know. If you feel like you don't want to receive communications from Alan via Bridget, then tell him. You have a right to your feelings and to express your needs. There doesn't have to be any drama or fight about it to simply say something like, "You know, Alan, I'm uncomfortable when you promise to get in touch with me and instead call Bridget. I feel left out when you do that. I would rather you communicate with me directly, especially when you say that's what you're going to do." And if you also make sure Bridget is aware of your needs, she can say to Alan when he calls or texts her, "Hey, please tell SuzieSue yourself."

So, is there anything that keeps you from doing that?
The world opens up... when you do.

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Last edited by nycindie; 11-01-2011 at 07:10 PM.
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