View Single Post
Old 11-01-2011, 05:41 PM
beginninglove's Avatar
beginninglove beginninglove is offline
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: west coast, USA
Posts: 69

Thank you for your kind and thoughtful words, Magdlyn. You have given me a lot to think about. I love you analogy of the slow burning fire, and I have certainly felt those benefits of LTRs in my varied experiences with partners (you are right about my age). Even with exes who turned into my closest friends. I also love the quote that you have as your signature, and I see that I feel controlled by Alex. I have played a huge role in this dynamic, no doubt, due to my own passivity and guilt. Certainly my fear is that I am making a mistake in ending a pretty darn good relationship, that somehow I should just keep plugging away at it until I find the ease and contentment I imagine I should be feeling. Through therapy we have come to understand this dance that we do, where I am the distancer and she is the persuer. She tries to grip me and I react by withdrawing. Seeing the dance has not necessarily made anything easier though. It helps to read your words, telling me that it is okay to just want to have time for myself, to get to know myself better and thus be a better partner in the future. It feels so selfish, and silly that I even somehow look to a stranger on a message board to give me permission to have and own my feelings. I have work to do on that front, no doubt.
Reply With Quote