Originally Posted by rolypoly
Rarechild, YGirl: I definitely hear what you're saying. It brings up the question, which I'm sure has been discussed of when does one disclose that they're poly?
I guess there's a bit of coming out shyness woven into my frustration in my original post. I'm someone who I consider to have a lot of integrity. I am a die-hard environmentalist, cyclist, activist. I've taken care of people's kids, I teach kids. So, I'm afraid of the black or white reaction many people have towards poly, (she's either an standup member of our community or a sex-craved slut).
I am definitely feeling your shyness, but moreso, I'm detecting (as much as one can from text disembodied from the whole person) that you may be projecting your own feelings onto others in because this is so new too you.
There seems to be a few internal conflicts going on here.
As to when the time is to tell someone's what's up- I guess there's no right answer to that. I prefer knowing someone as a friend first, and if feeling are developing beyond that friendship, then it's time to make clear where you're coming from if it is clear that the relationship is headed in a romantic direction. Of course, in some cases the person will already know you and may know that you are poly from the get-go.
This was not an answer, I know. I'm pretty new to this myself. So far, I have found opportunities to talk about poly in general, and then if the other person seems accepting of this, then there's an opportunity to discuss it as it relates to a relationship.
What I do know is that the way you feel about it yourself is a huge factor in how others will perceive it.
Island, eh? Mind me asking which island? That may be too personal, just curious.