Thank you, Tracy.
I see what you are saying about making my own choices, and those choices not impacting his lifestyle... I'm my own person, I agree!
When we started dating, I didn't really know much about poly, but I knew about his other relationships, and he knew about mine, and we talked about everything and didn't judge each other. I started seeing him knowing his other partners didn't know about me or each other.
But I didn't feel happy in secrecy. And I read more and more and finally felt comfortable enough in my own skin to at least be honest with all my partners now... But I can't be honest with his partners... I'm still hoping that he will come around... if I just give him more time. Does that sound like I'm enabling him?
Seems like the common theme is to move on? But.. If I do have to "end" it, where does it end? Can I still spend time with him and be friends with him? That comprises most of our relationship anyways. We have hooked up but not had sex so... I guess I can take away the physical aspect. But I don't want to cut him out completely just because he isn't ready to "come out."
Even if he never wants to... I couldn't stay with him as a partner but I don't want to lose a friend.
Guess it happens though, right?