Originally Posted by dingedheart
I could see this as a potential freak out situation for the guy. Seeing the child...what if it looks like him..and the million random thoughts that go with that. Perhaps awkward conversations with your husband or other family members. Thoughts of starting his own family etc, etc, etc...the whole thing being some what surreal. Maybe.
Also, from a kids point of view, birthdays on or around the holidays suck , tend to get lumped in ...one cousin (dec 20) and my uncle (dec 27) had that .....so if it's an option to go early or hang on late....might be something to think about or investigate further, talk with folks who are in that boat.
Lol, dingedheart! You're so funny! I don't have a say in when my child will be born. I can't "go" early... labour just starts when labour starts, and, even if I could decide what day to go into labour, I certainly wouldn't risk my child's health by having him be several weeks premature just so he could have a designer birthday.
You're right that it could feel weird for Sven to come visit me. But the kid won't look like him. We all know it isn't his--I didn't have sex with him the cycle I conceived, so that's scientifically impossible.
Still, he does want a wife and kids of his own, so I wonder if it might feel bittersweet for him. I guess that answers your question, Redpepper: Sven and I have talked about what he wants long-term, and it isn't this. That's why I try to keep it somewhat casual... although that still means I'm pretty darn affectionate most of the time.
Sven has been supportive of my pregnancy. I went over to his house late one night and he'd had a few scotches and he kissed my pregnant tummy and talked to the baby and felt him move. It just touched my heart. So I think that if he was around, he would come and see the baby after all, even if it felt a bit funny for him.
Anyway, I've just derailed Annabel's thread... I'm so sorry! Please, other poly people with kids, feel free to chime in with your experiences. And I'll let you know how it goes in a few months.