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Old 10-31-2011, 03:04 PM
GroundedSpirit GroundedSpirit is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: New England USA
Posts: 1,231

Hi Elf,

Some thoughts on your post..........

Originally Posted by SuddenlyStoneElf View Post
I would like to open up to the possibility of him actually loving someone else without that meaning I am insufficient, or that I am being replaced, or that he's outgrown me. I also want the freedom to love another man in the future without it being the end of my current relationship.

Except... it may actually happen that I am no longer "enough" for him at some point, that he outgrows me.
Is anyone "enough" for anyone at all points in time ? Think about it.
A lot of this comes from the fairy tales our culture recites to us as children.
But we're adults. We've realized the fairy tales don't correlate with real life. Right ?

The whole "happily ever after (in a bubble)" is a fantasy. And not even a good one ! Real life is far more exciting & challenging.
Seems you realize this internally but are reluctant to give it up for the unknown. I think that's all it boils down to...........that feared unknown

Originally Posted by SuddenlyStoneElf View Post
Time is a finite resource, we all seek new experiences, new connections... Sometimes, the new ends up meaning more than the old.
There's hints of a common problem here. Competitiveness. Comparisons. Ratings. More than / less than.
How about throwing out those terms (and mindsets). How about substituting "different & unique" ?

Evolution is ongoing. Relationships don't stop the clock - or people's growth & divergence.

Originally Posted by SuddenlyStoneElf View Post
To resolve the issue of eventual pain and loss, I have read posts that suggest concentrating on the fact "that nobody is irreplaceable",
'Eventual" ? So you have made your choice already ? Because it is just that - a CHOICE !

Originally Posted by SuddenlyStoneElf View Post
So I know of no ways to move towards polyamory without feeling like the floor will drop out from under me. It feels as though I have no choice but to face all these painful things at once, in advance, or I will experience even worse pain when I see my husband falling for someone else.
you can see it as the floor dropping out - OR - as the sky opening up !

It's your choice.

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