Originally Posted by BigGuy
It's never unfair to *ask* for what you need in a relationship. Fair is subjective. What one person may consider fair, another may not.
I'd ask him for what you need, but specify an end date. If he agrees, great! If not, then its up to you to determine if the relationship is worth the extra tension/turmoil.
In the mean time, use this as an opportunity to examine the source of your inner turmoil. If your concerns aren't reflective of actuality of the situation, then examine what thought processes are generating your emotions. This is a golden opportunity for growth.
He has agreed that introducing new people would be bad for us just now. Specifying an end date seems difficult because im not sure how long it will take for our relationship to establish to a level that we both feel secure enough,
i am having difficulty figuring out where my inner turmoil comes from because besides the time i was pregnant i have never felt jelousy to this extent before. I am not saying i don't feel jelous but it is not usually an emotion i feel to any great intensity. I am wondering what thought processes are making this emotion, all i can come up with is that i am insecure, i dont' feel like im worthy of his attention... however he has not given me any reason to feel like that it is just MY OWN insecuritys of not feeling good enough.
is it wrong for me to not want him to date anyone else if this is my issue, am i using the relationship being new as an excuse or is it a valid reason, thats the part i can't work out...
i dont' like being pinned down, told what i can and can't do, and i do not wish to do that to anyone else. I want all my partners to have the freedom that i do.