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Old 11-02-2009, 08:14 PM
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Rarechild Rarechild is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: SW Michigan
Posts: 600

Originally Posted by rolypoly View Post

What actually happens: Telling a guy Ive just met that I am involved with someone, but were poly often translates into, Im open minded and therefore have no boundaries, so anything goes. Now you have permission to put your paws all over me because Im one of those girls.
Perhaps you should hold off laying it all out on the table with people that you've just met.

IMO, it's not necessary to explain in a bar what your worldview is upon meeting someone you find attractive. If there is a connection, and you take some time to establish the connection, and you feel the person does respect you, then it might be time to have a conversation about poly.

It sounds to me like you are setting yourself up for people to have this wrong impression of you by being too eager to share your views. I'm sure it's done out of a desire to be honest and up-front. Regardless of what relationship style you subscribe to, it seems to me that in the beginning, before you know what the person is all about, it is wise to hold your cards close to the chest until you have a better sense of them.

I don't mean to be offensive, but if I were a person in a bar you'd just met, and you came at me that way, I'd take it as a here and now challenge.
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