I recently wrote elsewhere (right here
) about how cheating is not poly to me and how frustrating it is that people who identfy as poly use cheating as a way of justifying their actions. As if they can shrug off cheating by saying they are poly. Cheating sites think they can say they are polyamorous sites as a result. It has become so common in the mainstream world that poly, and the ethics around it that I know and strive for are being bastardized. Very frustrating I find to be working towards something I consider noble, only to find others working towards giving it, what I consider, a bad name by cheating.
At one point I didn't identify as poly for this reason (and others). Then I decided that I admired the ethics of MOST poly people around me and wanted to be a part of THAT instead. To me its very important to divide cheating from poly. Poly to me is a way of being inside oneself that can cause people to cheat as a behaviour, but poly is not the behaviour of cheating itself. Thoughts?