damn, you are so right. thank you for calling me out!
i'm realizing through this feedback that i need to get a LOT clearer in my communication with Alex and let go of guilt and also not allow her to jab at me or use my guilt to try and make me feel bad. i have noticed that i have had quite a bit of self-doubt come up around this stuff (i.e. am i just being selfish? am i a good enough communicator to make this happen in a healthy way? am i too used to getting what i want and am thus being a brat for asking for it when it hurts her? etc). Alex has been talking to MANY of her friends about what has gone on between us as we have been exploring non-monogamy, and i think its easy for a lot of our mono friends to say judgmental things and help her feel like she's really going way out on a limb here in accommodating my needs. i've noticed myself avoiding particular friends (mostly HER friends) as a result.