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Old 10-28-2011, 03:34 AM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,285

I would say that you're a couple interested in the possibility of eventually finding yourselves in a triad with another woman if it should happen to work out for all three of you... and while that may superficially look just like unicorn-hunting, it's actually radically different.

My take on the whole unicorn thing is that unicorns do not in fact exist. A unicorn us not a person, she's a couple's naive, idealized, unrealistic, and ultimately (maybe consciously but usually quite unconsciously) self-serving *idea* of a woman. You sound like you're willing to see and accept a woman for who she really is and consider her needs and desires in a balanced, flexible, and realistic way... again, to my mind, completely different from unicorn hunting.

So, I'd just make that clear when you're meeting women! When you've got a good vibe going, you can say something like "Hey, you seem awesome. We're open to whatever might develop here, whether it's casual or serious, a vee or a triad, whatever actually works for all of us. Some day we both think it'd be really neat to form a triad with the two of us and a woman who dug us both, but that's only if it would actually make sense for all involved... we're not tied to that structure and aren't trying to dictate to you how things oughta go, whether or not you like one of us or both of us, who else you can see, or anything like that at all."
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
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