Here's another aspect of what is coming up for me... I have been seeing Sam and having this really mind-blowing sex, and often I tell Alex beforehand "I won't see Sam for such-and-such amount of time after this" but then I find it REALLY hard to stick to that. Am I being selfish and just need to suck it up and not see Sam for the period of time I said I wouldn't?? Or is it fair for me to say, wow, I thought I could go that long without seeing her but I really want to see her again sooner.
I'm feeling like I am haivng a hard time knowing what I want, asking for what I want, and sticking to what I say I wanted.