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Old 10-27-2011, 09:19 PM
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redpepper redpepper is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Canada
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First off, I did a tag search and found this thread that might be interesting.

Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
If you've had a baby while ID'ing as poly...
Did you take a break from relationships that weren't with your co-parent? If so, for how long? Do you feel like that was the best choice, looking back?
Yes PN and I took a break for about four or five years. We have been together 13. I was poly before I met him, he discovered he was poly when he met me. It was an excellent choice to have LB when we did. Neither of us were with anyone, we had just bought a house and got married, it kinda went along with what everyone does at that time of life, so we did it.

None of our friends were having babies and that was my biggest regret. I would of liked to of developed closer bonds with my friends over babies, but instead it distanced us. We have no family with kids, so no cousins for LB... if our brothers were into babies we could of done that together with them too, but neither of them had babies or ever will I don't think. LB is it in our family! That isn't anything to do with poly though.

Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
Did your other partners also help parent, or at least take an active role with the baby? How did that affect your relationship(s) with them?
Mono co-parents. He is an excellent daddy figure. He is fun, a big kid and injects a ton of humour into our lives. LB has learned lots about how to have a sense of humour from him. I think that is so important to have later in life. He has only enhanced all of our lives and our love for one another deepened the more he committed to our family unit.

Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
Did your co-parent's outlook on poly change, and, if so, how did that impact your life?
Our outlook changed with the arrival of LB and turned into the desire for hunkering down and creating family for him to be part of. That includes his grandparents and uncles as well. I don't know if that will change as he grows and leaves home. It likely will. I expect it all will change when he flies the nest.

Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
For people who've been partnered to folks who've had a baby with another partner...
Did you stay together? How did it change your relationship if at all? Did it change your views about parenting? Did you feel you had a special relationship to the child? If so, were there difficulties associated with loving a child not your own? What were the rewards? Would you do it again? If you and that partner broke up, did you maintain a relationship with the child?
There were other threads that might be interesting and shed more light on this if you look for "kids" "children" "parenting" in a tag search.
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