Been a long time since I've updated this. Meh, life happens.
One year ago I went on a field trip with my boys. It was supposed to be 2 days of relaxation for hubby, he was supposed to get some down time.
Instead - the woman he was seeing chose THAT time to tell him something that previous experience should have told her would upset him. And I was 5 hours away.
Instead of a fantastic weekend of relaxation for him, and one of me focussed on my boys - I spent several hours talking to him to calm him down.
And then - the weekend from hell. I wrote a poem about it - its on Fetlife.
They broke up a year ago this coming Monday and that was the start of many months of healing for us.
We still haven't stepped back into the world of multiple relationships. He has said he never will - but he wants me to be free/comfortable to.
It has changed our relationship - both for good and bad. The closeness we have found is amazing. Our communication skills are better. 1000X better. But there's an aspect to our relationship that has changed and I want it back.. *sigh*
In my head, I go over and over and over... what could I have done differently to make it all work?
Logically, I know I did the best I could with the resources I had on hand. The only thing I can "logically" see I should have done different was use this board more and let my feelings out here more.
Logically, I know that regardless of what *I* did, there were aspects to THEIR relationship that I found untenable and unworkable for MY relationship.
It doesn't change the fact that I still work through it in my head.
Its been an interesting year. I have made new friends, lost people I thought were friends and discovered I can still be friends with someone I want to be friends with.