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Old 10-27-2011, 12:01 AM
bulrush bulrush is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: West Michigan
Posts: 37
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Originally Posted by peanutbutter87 View Post
What are the set of ideologies/ideas that made you pursue polyamory? How do you define polyamory?
I like the feeling of closeness. The lack of jealousy also gives me hope for the human race. Really, that is a big deal for me. Also, poly people tend to understand how relationships work better, and that clear communication is vital, and I like that. I hate playing mind games and guessing if someone (My girlfriend) is having issues with me.

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what are the current controversies within the polyamory "movement"/"community" ( this question can be answered by exploring what exactly is " polyamory movement and community").
I don't know.

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What social and cultural problems have you encountered (how do people react if/when you tell them about your choices)?
I don't tell anyone about what I am.

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How much is sexuality a part of polyamory?
It's a significant part, but not the only part. It's about closeness and bonding for me, and sex is one way for bonding. Being friends is another way of bonding.

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Why pursue polyamory despite it being relatively stigmatized in our society?
The risk is worth it. It makes me happy and content.

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Have you ever been in non-polyamorous relationships?
Yes, when I was younger, I only had mono relationships, because that's how I was socialized.

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How is polyamory different from swingers and other forms of sexuality?
I have never done swinging so I don't know. But in any relationship, personal, business, or otherwise, clear communication is important.

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How does an open relationship affect the position of the partners in terms of distribution of power and inequality?
I don't see an "open relationship" as being the same as "polyamory". An OR is where one, possibly both partners, pursue sex outside their relationship. And it's just about sex, with maybe some light friendship. With Poly it's more about friendship, bonding, and possibly love. As in loving more than one person at the same time for different reasons.

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Would it make you feel better if your choices were approved by the state and general public?
If there were public messages on TV or radio, for at least 10 years in a row, I think people would gradually get used to it. This issue, like being gay, should also be incorporated into TV sitcoms. I think the US TV show "Will and Grace" helped people accept gays.

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Do you feel there is a stigma on people in open relationships? How does this hinder your activities (both sexual and non-sexual)? Is the stigma on the individuals or the concept of polyamory?
Yes I think there is a lot of stigma out there about this. The average person thinks of nothing but orgies when it comes to poly relationships, because maybe that's what they saw on TV. Or maybe they think of abusive relationships like with the Fundamental Latter Day Saints, where one man had multiple wives.

I could never tell anyone because it would not affect our relationship. But with my parents, I could never tell them because it would be a completely foreign concept for them. The first thing they would ask is "Isn't someone jealous?" Nope, jealousy is not welcome here.

One more thing. Poly is not for everyone, in fact, I believe very few people have the advanced skills necessary to have this complex relationship without jealousy.

Last edited by bulrush; 10-27-2011 at 12:07 AM.
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