Either she is having a massive melt down or is simply incapable of having a poly relationship. And yes..you should take precedence over her...you're his wife. Why the fuck can't people accept that when entering an established relationship involving co-habitating, day to day integration and marriage, that relationship should be the priority because it has more impact. I'm sick of hearing the "I wanna be equal" crap. Until they legalize multiple marriages and new partners are ready to "commit" at that level, then there should be no expectation for this level of equality.
If she isn't just having a temporary meltdown, I hope you both distance yourselves from her. She isn't equipped to handle this approach to loving.
Playing the Game of Life with Monopoly rules.
Monogamy might just be in my genes
Poly Events All Over