Originally Posted by dingedheart
What I meant was more than the slippery slope glide path. There is the potential for compounding effect. Trying to apply logic and reason to a partners emotional responses is very difficult if not impossible.
So the 9yr old has already picked up on something. Has your husband hear those remarks?
Can you explain what you mean about compounding effect? It sounds like you've been in my husband's situation and through a lot of pain because of it. Do you think there's something I can do to make this all easier on him?
He's all done talking about it from what I can see, and when he doesn't talk about it, I'm not sure if everything's all right, or it's only fine when he's not confronted with it by having to discuss, share feelings, and so on. I had all this drama going on in my mind last time we got sexy together, and he comes out with "It's so nice to have these moments when everything is perfect." Maybe he really is fine.
My 9 yr old definitely realizes I love other men besides her dad. She has no awareness yet of sex (she doesn't watch a lot of movies...), so as far as she sees the world, I married Daddy, and I love Grandma, my daughters, my best friend since preschool, and other special male and female friends who are part of our lives. She has never seemed uneasy about it, and I think her comment actually came from a place of loving this man too. It's nice because he has built relationships with all of my family, my husband included, so my daughters have no reason to feel threatened or confused. He and his family are like extended family.
I was thinking about the drawback to waiting until my kids are grown. This man is so much older than me -he'll be 80 by then! Maybe not quite so sexy. I'd rather enjoy him now. This is tough.