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Old 10-25-2011, 05:34 AM
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Anneintherain Anneintherain is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Seattle-ish
Posts: 826

Originally Posted by RedAndTall View Post
Hello all, Tall one here...
The rules would be that there is no actual sexual activity (kissing, petting etc. is of course fine.) However I know all too well how that can easily be a slippery slope.
I'm trying very hard to rely on the trust I have for her but it's not HER i'm really worried about. It's someone she dates trying to get her to break the rules knowing them before hand and then that would set off a whole slew of trust issues with him, her, etc. etc.
Well I had just jumped right in. I have not had a lot of partners, but none of them (and not something I've heard of a lot in experienced poly partners) tried to coerce me into overstepping my safe sex agreements with my husband. To both me and my husband, if anybody attempted to pressure us to cross those lines, they aren't somebody to be dated again.

In fact I have seen partners err on the side of caution, if there is a blurry line that one of us thinks it's OK to cross but we aren't 100% sure, we put of the activity until it is discussed and OK'd with any other partners before proceeding.

I think this isn't the first time I have seen a husband worried about his wife not having strong boundaries, or being a possible victim of predators, but it's good to trust your wife's common sense, if you think she has it.

Is there a reason you aren't seeking to date solo also? Would you be worrying less about her good or bad choices if you were?
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
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