Originally Posted by cheryl
She gets jealous because I am at his place, goes out partying until 5:30 in the morning. She tells him the next day about all the guys hitting on her and how it wouldn’t have happened if he had been there to protect her. She says she wanted him there, but being around me, is just too awkward. He spends the day being mad at her, jealous, and taking it out on me.
So after he took me home, picking a fight with me the whole way because he wanted to drive off mad
If this is accurate, then, yes, you've painted on the ugly picture of them but only because the truth is ugly. You can beat yourself up about what the rest of society would think all you want, question your own motives, compare their bad behavior to the bad behavior of others as if to say "well at least we're not them"... and you're completely right, every now and then otherwise great people make mistakes or act irrationally.
Someone may be good at heart, but that doesn't mean they're healthy enough to have a healthy relationship with you right now. I hope that you're right and that this is just growing pains. If I were you I'd be asking myself how much am I willing to rationalize and how long am I willing to wait for them to get their shit together. Not to mention, how much drama and bad behavior am I willing to expose my daughter to. Just make sure that you're drawing the line somewhere that will leave your health, happiness and sanity, and hers, intact.
If you're going to stick with it then watch them both closely and make sure they're actually working on their issues and making progress... not just saying they will while repeating the same patterns.