Originally Posted by nycindie
I don't know how steeped he is in Indian culture, but my sense is that the reason he believes it to be such a terrible thing might be less about impropriety and more about it saying to the world that he's not enough of a man for you. To "let" you do this would be a sign of weakness in him -- not you, you're just a woman.
The way he describes it, it's more that he went out on a bit of a limb marrying an American (we are notorious for our high divorce rates) raised by twice divorced parents, so if I prove not to be the morally upstanding wife he assured his family I would be, it reflects badly on his judgement. Considering that many marriages are still arranged in India, and his father was mailing him stats on various bride choices until we announced our engagement, he was asserting himself pretty strongly when he chose a love marriage with an American. Ironically, the only divorce among his siblings is from the one arranged marriage -the carefully selected Indian wife up and walked out on her husband with all the money she could grab! He remarried for love.