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Old 10-24-2011, 09:36 PM
MeeraReed MeeraReed is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: East Coast, U.S.
Posts: 348
Default Being Poly & Staying Friends with Your Ex

Okay, here's a question that has been really confusing for me:

Is there a connection between being poly and being more likely to stay friends with an ex?

By "friends" I mean actual, close friends, someone who is truly in your life, someone you talk to regularly and make an effort to spend time with. (Not when an ex just becomes an acquaintance that you run into once in a while and say hi to on occasion).

In my life and past relationships, I have always had an idea or expectation that an ex should want to remain close friends with me, but this always turned out to be painfully, devastatingly unrealistic. I guess I have reached the conclusion that I am off-the-norm to have this expectation.

When I lost my friendship with my most recent ex, my friends were kind of like, "Oh well, no one's supposed to be friends with their ex."

To be honest, I don't know even one monogamous person who has remained friends with an ex, although I do know a few poly people who have done so--but I don't know if that's a coincidence or not.

It seems to me that a lot of the problems I have with the idea of monogamy--a lot of the reasons why I have been seeking polyamory or some other form of non-monogamy--are related to the fact that I am totally disgusted with the idea that an old lover is someone who is suppose to be "no longer in your life."
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