Originally Posted by Magdlyn
Why did you marry him in the first place?
But you are missing being with a guy who gets turned on just by being near you, who obviously desires you and actually lets you know it.
You say your h said he'd leave you eventually if you had other relationships, but what about you? Do you fantasize about leaving his emotionless non-sexy ass as well sometimes?
In the beginning there was plenty of affection, and enough sex for me. For various reasons my sexual appetite was not much back then, so it was a relief that I was never pressured for more (I'd been there). I married him for love. We used to do all sorts of fun stuff together. We met dancing, and danced often. And he is one sexy hunk of a man to look at. We joke about the time he was asked by a woman in an elevator to consider a job modeling underwear! But mostly, he is everything else I ever wanted in a husband.
The two men who make me feel so sexy and fascinating and happy are both inappropriate for me as partners or husbands. One has kids my age and a second set from a second ex-wife and would in no way be able to take on raising a third round. The other retired early (16 yrs older than me) and spends probably 75% of his time traveling, the rest in his remote rural home. To be with him would mean huge compromises for us both. So I've never wanted either of them, or anyone else, for a husband. I just like them in small doses, like dessert.
I don't fantasize about leaving my husband. I sometimes fantasize about how I'd want my life to be if he weren't there (split up or deceased -I don't dwell on that part). How I would stay single and and enjoy various men in various ways. But I did that before I married, and as delightful as my sex life was, I was lonely for someone who really wanted to stay with me and be there for me through all my ups and downs. My husband gives me that. It's huge. I'd far rather make this work than start all over with someone else, because any relationship is going to have its trouble to work through.