Thanks for backing me up. It makes me feel good to know that other people in the poly community feel like I did the right thing. I still feel anxious about the entire situation, well because I don't know whats going on.
Trying to think of the entire situation and what is best for everyone is hard. I feel guilty about the little nagging selfish voice in the back of my head. Although I would never let that voice when, or even talk out loud lol.
I've been in relationships in the past where I let what I wanted over ride the feelings of my SO. sadly those relationships ended badly but it's how I figured out who I am. I hate to see him go down that road of pushing his wife to be ok, because it's what he wants. But I don't know if I should caution him, or leave it be, because in the end it's their relationship and I don't know the inner workings of it.
Of course I want her to be ok with it, but because she actually is, not because he pushed. The feelings involved are just so strong (not that I'm trying to educate anyone here on feelings!! lol) they are hard to overlook. And it's going to be even harder knowing he is having a hard time overlooking them.