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Old 10-23-2011, 10:08 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
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Originally Posted by SourGirl View Post
Those that figure themselves 'healers' sexually, and really are, find it to be more-so something they have noticed, but they carry on normally.
Those that declare it and want to 'fix' people, and offer to 'fix' people, are usually bird-brains, and full of shit.
Oh, hell yeah. I would probably stay clear away from anyone who hit on me with some line like, "I'm a sexual healer, baby. I can help you love yourself," or some shit like that. Wretch.

I do see that recognizing my own ability to heal is something that I only noticed in retrospect. But there have been times when I was conscious of the potential healing that could take place with someone before or as we were getting it on, but I didn't let myself feel elevated or superior because of it. Sometimes you just recognize that you've got what someone needs, kwim?

I also take a very dim view of anyone who charges money for healing. I once interviewed a Native American medicine man, and he told me that a real, genuine medicine man or woman would never charge money for what they do. That goes against all the sensibilities of tribal peoples. It's a huge offense. They call anyone who charges money for performing or leading ceremonies (like sweat lodges and vision quests), workshops, seminars, healings, readings, etc., "plastic shamans." One could say that a therapist or counselor is getting paid to heal, but I think a good one doesn't claim that they will definitely fix anyone. They usually say they are just there to help you see your issues and work with you to make choices and changes.

But I digress...

Originally Posted by SourGirl View Post
I figured that is what people meant. Someone that makes them feel good on many levels.

For me to say 'heal,' implies that something needed mending. Someone is in the repair shop.
Well, to me, it's not just feeling good around those healing people; what makes them (and I include myself as one) healers, is about feeling better. Some increase, in some way, in a more positive state of mind, or feeling lifted out of a darker, even perhaps depressed, place. So, it is about mending. Sometimes there's mending a bad mood, sometimes mending a perspective that had us all fucked-up about something, and sometimes there's mending that goes very deep into our sexuality and sense of ourselves.

Originally Posted by SourGirl View Post
Not that there is anything wrong with healing-sex. In many ways that is what BDSM does for many people. I see 'healing' different then sex that can be described as ; gratifying, fully-pleasurable, healthy, enriching, rewarding, etc.
Gotcha. Sure, we don't always need healing sex; sometimes we just wanna have fun and get off. Nor is sex with someone who has that healing energy always "medicinal" or some ritualistic healing ceremony, LOL. But sometimes just the fact that someone can enjoy sex and connecting with someone physically is the thing that heals. For example, I have always been one who can laugh in bed. I never thought it strange, that if something gives me delight, I can laugh out loud about it, even though it's during sex. But I learned that many men are conditioned to feel insulted by laughter during sex. Never would have occurred to me until I encountered a reaction from a few lovers who were at first taken aback by the fact that I had giggled or laughed while we were going at it. But after telling them I was just enjoying myself, and still being myself, not holding back, eventually they tapped into my experience that sex can be fun and not all serious work. So, I noticed that I was able to share a gift of myself with them, which lightened them up a bit and was, in that sense, healing for them.

It doesn't have to be all heavy shit, like healing someone who was scarred from abuse.

Back to the topic, although I see that anyone can be a healer, I wonder if testosterone gets in the way of a guy seeing that ability in himself. Perhaps that's why it's more common to see or hear from women who acknowledge that they can be sexual healers.
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