Originally Posted by cheryl
But my boyfriend seems to think that "men are just different." I think there are bigger differences among individuals then between the two sexes. I know men who I think see the world the way I do, and women I totally dont understand at all. But he's convinced that women dont experience jealousy as intensely, they are more nurturing, less competitive, and that in men, possessiveness is just how nature designed them, it's hardwired and testosterone driven.
Well good luck with that.
Many of these types start out wth only a OPP. It does graduate.
I remember my ex initially had only a problem with 'just men'. He said everything else was cool. No biggie right ? Why did I need more then my husband and my boyfriend ? I figured that was a fair compromise.
He was so good, giving, and game in so many other ways.....such a 'sweet' man.
Well, one day he made a nasty comment about a girlfriend of mine. Piped up with ' Oh, well I guess if you fuck women, I should get to fuck new women too !' He then went out and did things I had never done. Trying to tell me, it was my fault he did that. He was just trying to 'keep-up' with me, afterall.
Then he made snide comments about friends....then it graduated to anyone who came near me, I must want to fuck.
Or, I MUST be doing something behind his back, because you see,..he 'knew' I wanted more. I had said so in the beginning of the relationship. So poor HIM had to constantly deal with the fact that he knew he was never enough for me.
' Excuse me dear, while I go fuck my wife, and my live-in girlfriend. You go chew on the fact that I must deal with the pain, of not being enough man for you.'
'Men are competitive.'
' Men have territorial-needs women can't comprehend.'
Oh, please. Blah, blah, blah, Blabbedy-Blah. The translation is ' I have fears that I would rather keep, then actually have to do something about. I will use my manhood to convince you of this, as it is all I got.'
...and if you fall for it ? You are feeding the monster.
I loved him as a friend before we ever dated, before I saw the dark side of him. So I am sorta stuck with that love. Love doesn`t mean being in a relationship though. There are lots of better people to love, who are actually worth my time.
If you choose to be in a relationship with this sort, just realize you will never 'win'. Your desires, needs are always second. Whatever jealousy, imaginary scenarios, problems he comes up with, will always reign the relationship, and drain you of yourself.