Originally Posted by poobah123
One thing is I reached out to my wife's OSO because me and him never really talked but more than 5 minutes. He reached out first last weekend. Perhaps after talking to him and building some kind of friendship it will go along way to making me feel better.
YES! I bet it will make a world of difference to be able to see him as a real person, maybe even a friend, instead of just a competitor.
One of the best things about befriending your metamours is that they can give you invaluable insight into your partner sometimes. A silly true life example -- Eric and I were cleaning up after dinner once and I commented offhandedly that I am found it funny that Gia's said before that she find it too overwhelming when garlic and onions are in the same dish, yet I'd put them both in our meal without thinking and she'd loved it. He looked abashed and said it was probably because he loves those ingredients and always OVERuses them.
Translate that from cooking to emotional habits or sex, and you can see how that sort of "insider knowledge" could really come in handy!
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.