dVdT....I hear you....for a minute I thought you were my wife, as I've heard this song before but then I realized she just joined this site today and your handle didn't match hers....that was freaky!
But really, it sounds as though the two of you have identical thoughts, worries, fears and pains.......there are small differences in our circumstamces, like neither woman being bi, and we're all a little closer in age, but that's about it.
I can tell you that what you're feeling is normal but I can't yet tell you how to work thru it as we are currently tackling that same dilemma. Honest communication is working so far and as others will tell you that seems to be the key. This jealousy thing needs a quick answer and a fast cure but there doesn't seem to be one.