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Old 10-21-2011, 04:49 PM
NeedsMoreDrama NeedsMoreDrama is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2011
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Why not just say "Breaking up with [friend's name] at your request is eating me up to the point that I've been thinking about ending our marriage. I didn't realize it at the time, but this may be a dealbreaker for me. I know that me dating her was weird for you, but poly was weird to me at first and I adapted. If she'll have me back, are you willing to rescind the veto?"
I did basically say that a couple of months ago. My wife said she "needs time to figure things out, but that she wants me to be happy too". I'm trying my best to give her my support.

It's not her fault; this whole situation is making me question my feelings for my wife and our relationship.

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Don't bail just because of pressure - work it out. It's workable.
I hope so.

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Then again, if you`re willing to dump her for a new flame, maybe she is better off.
You got me there. I guess I'm just in a pissy mood.

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Time to do some soul-searching and figure out if NRE is ruling your brain or not.
True. I'm feeling torn up. Not exactly the best time to be making big decisions.

I've talked about slowly reconnecting with the bff. Nope. My wife is doing her best to open up to this idea but the thought of any sort of romantic relationship between me and the bff still repulses her. It would be like me having sex with her sister than coming home and getting intimate with her. It's the level of familiarity that she finds unnerving.

The bff says she loves me but she doesn't want to hurt my wife. I can understand that.

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Why does breaking up with the wife's friend mean that you can't date and be happy with someone else?
There are no complex reasons here. The idea doesn't interest me. Ever since I started dating my wife, I've honestly never really had any strong feelings for any other women sans her bff. I can't help how I feel.

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If I felt like I'd been forced to ditch a relationship with someone I loved, I'd be resentful, sad, and not at all prepared to just start up something new with someone else. Plus I'd be too afraid to do so... after all, who's to say she won't find a reason to pull the veto card again for some other, random reason?
That mirrors my thoughts. It's quite a mindf*ck.

I've got to do some intensive introspection. Thanks for the replies.
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