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Old 10-21-2011, 02:23 PM
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SourGirl SourGirl is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: South of an Igloo, North of a Desert.
Posts: 885
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Oh Honey ! You are not cheating. Communicating is highly over-rated. There are so many people communicating in poly, that very few are actually LISTENING.

I understand your situation very well ! Sounds to me like your husband has heard you, listened to you, but doesn`t want to talk about it. You need to cross the bridge, that you won`t be chatting to him about your exciting times, and what you want to do, or have done.

Find a different confidant. Someone to bounce things off of, and blab details too.

Have ONE chat with your husband. Leave him a note saying you need ONE talk just to know where you are at, so you can feel honest. Make sure to mention you wont be wanting repeat chats, unless something changes for him, and HE needs to convey something.
Don`t ASK for permission. He is not your father, and respect for these things is mutual, not lop-sided. When we 'ask' permission, it means we think what we are doing is potentially wrong, and we are looking for someone else to decide what is wrong, and what is right. I see people always looking for their spouses 'blessing', when really they just need the ability to feel open.

Instead, just explain what you want. Without specific details.
" I want this, and this, and maybe this,..what do you think ? If sex happened, do you want to know ?'

You can be supportive of his desire to not need details, while maintaining your need to be in the open. Respect and permission are different things, and should stay that way.

Good Luck !
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