View Single Post
Old 10-21-2011, 01:03 PM
AnnabelMore's Avatar
AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,259

Triads or vees can work just fine, sure. But only with people who can trust each other and show each other a high level of respect. As for this particular situation?

I agree completely with Nyc. This is not an ethical man. Things will only get worse from here, sooner or later.

He kept the affair from you initially, then lied to you about it again, even though he had no reason to. He's pressing you for bisexual contact when it's not what you want. He has no problem with living under what's obviously a huge double standard.

Originally Posted by cheryl View Post
but he was very persistant in maintaining the relationship, even when I tried to break it off. So I agreed to keep seeing him.
Does he know how to take no for an answer ever? It doesn't sound like it.

But all that pales to nothingness compared to this --
Originally Posted by cheryl View Post
The other big factor in this situation is that he, himself, is extremely jealous and does not want either of us to be with any other man, and even gets angry if we have male friends, if anyone even calls, or comes by, etc. To me, this seems kind of hypocritical, but I dont actually have time for another intimate relationship, anyway. I can barely manage this one. (She's agreed to not see anyone else as well.) It drives me insane, though, to be accused of fooling around on him, when I'm not, and he's the one who wants a second relationship, and has lied about it.
This is an extremely common pattern in abusive relationships. It escalates over time. At first it might seem almost sweet in a way. But as time goes on, his demands get less reasonable, he gets violent (whether emotionally, physically, or verbally), you're driving yourself crazy just to keep him from getting upset, he controls your whole life. Of COURSE he doesn't want "his" women knowing each other well (except in the carnal sense), because then they could compare notes and see how crazy he is!

Please do a little reading about extreme jealousy and the warning signs of abusive relationships. Do you really want your daughter growing up to think this is how women are supposed to be treated by the men who love them?

And y'know what, even if he never gets worse and is just a jealous jerk, I still wouldn't put up with it. Don't you believe that you deserve to be treated better than this?
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.

Last edited by AnnabelMore; 10-21-2011 at 01:05 PM.
Reply With Quote