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Old 10-21-2011, 06:14 AM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 7,911

What happens in May if you don't meet anyone you want a relationship with?

The thing to remember is: it's not a race. Just because one spouse has an additional significant other, does not mean that the other spouse has to run out and go find one right away. I've known people who didn't find a girlfriend or boyfriend until two years after their spouse did.

You said in your first post that you want a girlfriend to "balance the situation." Well, how crummy it would feel if someone I met was only interested in seeing me just to "even the score" with his wife. No! I want someone who wants to be with me because he enjoys my company, is totally turned on by being around me, and wants to know me better.

Don't worry about finding a girlfriend just to make sure you have as many toys as your wife does. Go out and socialize, meet people, see who you click with, enjoy getting to know other folks. As far as OKCupid not working yet - man, you only just joined! It could be weeks or months before you get any messages. Be patient.
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
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