Originally Posted by NeedsMoreDrama
So, roughly 7 months ago .......
Just a little idea here ; You might want to stop the thought-process that provides a permanent solution, to a temporary problem.
7 months ago,.. means NRE. The BFF/GF is still shiny and new. You are gravitating that way, probably due to NRE influence. The relationship was killed, while in the throes of NRE.
So it took you 2 years-ish to wrap your brain around your wife being poly ? I am sure you weren`t perfect through it all.
Your wife said: 'Please stop seeing my best friend.'
That was mistake number one, but it can be rectified.
If you love the BFF/GF that much, you could of said 'No, I cannot do that.' to your wife, yet supported her by scaling the relationship back to a level that she was a bit more comfortable with. Help her ease into sharing her friend in such a way.
Asked her, to help you find a happy medium. Asked her, to find a alternative route that doesn`t permanently hurt anyone, and promotes growth and acceptance.
This isnt a 'BFF' of a couple of years. This is a BF from CHILDHOOD. She has known her longer, then she has you. So, the wife might deserve the same respect of 'a couple of years' to learn how to deal with the new dynamics.
Then again, if you`re willing to dump her for a new flame, maybe she is better off. I noticed you don`t even mentioning loving your wife, until the end of the story. You also say in hindsight you wouldn`t of married her since she is poly.
Yet you would be monogamous with the new flame.
Time to do some soul-searching and figure out if NRE is ruling your brain or not.