Originally Posted by redpepper
Wah? Minxxa I don't know of any threads where people have come here to ask about ways to convince their mono partners to be poly. People come here distraught about their situations and wish their partners were into what they are . . .
Omigosh, I do! I think most of the threads in the New to Poly
forum center on trying to get a non-poly partner to get onboard.
Originally Posted by Minxxa
. . . I do see a lot of threads where the basic question is "I met someone and want to be poly and told my partner but my husband/wife/partner is upset/distraught/angry, how do I make this work?" Also, I see more than a few threads where people are investigating poly, or starting out and one partner is "trying it for their partner" usually with a lot of reservations, and the whole goal seems to be to get them to go with it. And what follows is lots of angst, jealousy, insecurity, and unhappiness for the partner who is going with it for their partner, and not because they think it sounds like a good idea.
Maybe it was the wording I used... "convince". To me asking how to "make poly work with a mono partner who is not into it" is the same as trying to convince them.
Yeah, this is what we see here nearly every day. Maybe it's unfair to generalize, though. In some instances you can see that people do struggle with the concept of poly and then can actually embrace it, others it's a more healthy curiosity and willingness (of the mono partner), but many of the predicaments people come here and write about look like minefields between poly and mono opponents!