Weird...Somehow, my post got put into a different thread...That was weird. Anyway, THIS is the thread it was MEANT for...so here it is again.
Again, we run into definitions and how everyone's definition is different.
I have a different VERSION of poly than a lot of you guys do. Does it make MY version "bad"? No. Does it make it "wrong"? Not really. How about the same questions for your versions? Not even.
Of course, to me, it sounds like he is more "swinger" than "poly", but if it works for his/her relationship, then great!
Now, I may be misunderstanding something here though. This is difficult to put into writing...but...I'll try
We have a couple: H1=husband 1 and W1=wife 1
And another couple H2=husband 2 and W2=wife 2
These 2 couples are in a poly-fi relationship.
For this example, all parties are straight. (no reason behind it other than it's easier)
IN MY OPINION, H1 should be able to sleep with W1 AND W2 any time he wants to as long as that is their relationship dynamic. SOMETIMES, that is not the dynamic. SOMETIMES, the dynamic calls for a 4-some only, and therefore the only time H1 would be able to sleep with W2, would be if H2 and W1 are both present.
For H1 to be able to sleep with W2 or W1 anytime he wishes (and the woman in question is willing) all parties should be on the same page. This may take time to reach that level of comfortability.
NOW....Does H1 get to sleep with random women from craigslist also? How about at the swingers club? or a swingers party? I don't believe so.
Let's look at the words involved here......Polyamorous, and fidelity. (Oddly enough, google chrome is calling both of those as misspelled words. LOL)
fidelity-strict observance of promises, duties, etc. and loyalty and conjugal faithfulness
So, the people involved, H1, W1, H2, W2 are all loving each other, yet staying faithful TO each other in the relationship dynamic. e.g. not going out and sleeping with random other people that are not involved within their quad.
Just my opinion.