your wife is caught up in new relationship energy,
first time trying poly, im not suprised that she is overwhelmed by it, remember how it felt when you first got together with your wife, you want to spend all your free time with each other, it hurts to be apart, hormones are going wild,
this part lasts for a while, but it doesn't last forever,
that is not to say that you're wife is right in neglecting the relationship she has with you, but this is a common mistake that a lot of people make when they start out. I am guessing you are arguing about this and so she is prob not seeing you as loving husband but as someone who is trying to restrict her. Her logical mind will be telling her that you are right to feel hurt but her heart will be pulling her in all diffrent directions,
i suggest you calmly sit down and talk to you're wife, let her know you love her, that you are not trying to pin her down... then perhaps think of things you can do together to spend quality time, make a date night once a week, when you know you will do something special together,
my personnal opinion is do not try and restrict her time with her other love just ask for some time in return, overnight stays are going to happen, when you are making love to someone the last thing you want to do is leave half way through night.
i hope things work out