As GroundedSpirit noted, it is human nature to put down what one has rejected and build up its replacement. I've seen this dynamic in all kinds of movements - social justice and otherwise. Eventually the superiority complex is replaced by a more complicated and realistic view. Still, it's annoying and can be off-putting.
I have to admit that, OldGuy, I found your initial statement about poly and bisexual people offputting. You have the privilege of hiding in plain sight since you are married to a woman and are presumably 'straight looking' i.e. not effeminate or flamboyant.
I do not believe that all queer or poly folks are required to come out. That is not possible for everyone. I also do not believe that you are obligated to be activists, to associate with activists that you find unappealling or think that the agenda of the LGBT or poly movements is what you want too. Perhaps you do what you can to move poly or LBGT rights forward. Since all I know of you is from one statement, I am going to assume that's so.
However, the statements above read like someone who seems rather unaware of the privileges they possess. Do you recognize that those same stuck up, misguided people you ran into at the convention are also the same folks attempting to make life a bit easier for poly folks? This doesn't mean you need to go shout alongside them or even agree with them but do recognize what they are trying to accomplish - for themselves, certainly, but also for people like you, your wife, your boyfriend and your girlfriend.
Again, I don't know you. You may be very aware of the privileges you possess. And I think your main point about the annoying growing pains of movements - like superiority complexes - is well taken.