I agree with AutumnalTone that it is a small cross-section of poly people who go to those things. I also feel it is hugely distasteful when polyamorists take an elitist, holier-than-thou stance that anyone who lives polyamorously is more evolved than those who are monogamous. There is more to who I am than how many people I love. And I dislike how poly groups align themselves with other groups that I see would only marginalize polyamorists further. Been thinking a lot about that lately.
Your thread is timely, for me anyway, because I recently read an old discussion thread about proposing a national Poly Coming Out Day and there were lots of folks who disagreed with the idea (myself included). The thread is here: National Poly Coming Out Day
and, again, I really like AutumnalTone's contributions to that thread, in posts #4 and 6. I have been feeling a little frustrated about wanting more poly-accepting people in my life and have been thinking of getting more involved in the local groups -- but it's the possibility of being around this posturing about poly being superior to mono that keeps me away.