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Old 10-17-2011, 10:01 PM
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Seasnail Seasnail is offline
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 77

I didn't bring up polyamory at either date....

I'm typically slow to warm up, and spend most of a first date (or first several dates) deciding if I feel the person is someone around whom I can be comfortable, and at what pace. I had spoken with him on the phone a couple of times, but since we live in neighboring towns, I wanted to see him in person before I made any decisions about my attraction level. We got along well! We played rockband, then headed out for dinner, and snuggled up with a movie to end the evening.

I had planned to talk about poly on the second date. And then it sprung up on me, as he invited me to stop by two days later while I was still in town. I tried to start a conversation that could segue into a discussion of relationship styles, but he made a joke and ran with it, and the moment passed. It was a relatively short and light meeting, so I didn't want to press it.

Anyways, my general impression of him is that he's quite open, but I don't know if that translates into open about relationships. He wasn't freaked out about my ex-husband and his family still being involved in my life, so that's a good sign. I'm still not sure of the pacing... I think if I hadn't mentioned that my mom was expecting me home he would have invited me to spend the night. I find myself drawn to him physically, but I also notice that I have strong boundaries that I'm keeping up both physically and emotionally. So we'll see.

I spent this weekend with my Lover and his GF, and we talked about this budding relationship with squeeze and my conflict over remaining open or not. Lover and GF both expressed pleasure for me, and encouraged me to follow my heart, reassuring me that a place in their family was not dependant upon sex. Lover's body language definitely expressed posessiveness this weekend, as well, which tell me he's also feeling vulnerable... he's not super at communicating with words. Or perhaps more accurately, he has the skills and often chooses to keep his thoughts and feelings to himself.

I likely won't see or talk to Lover again until after my next date with Squeeze. I really don't want to give Lover up. I went through my journal the other day, and I noticed over the past year how much I have learned in my interactions with him. I also noticed that even a year ago, I identified that I needed more than he can give. I hadn't realised I'd been feeling that way for so long.
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