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Old 10-17-2011, 09:26 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: US
Posts: 2,094

Originally Posted by GroundedSpirit View Post
I think this is universal across all gender preferences. It's only because of the limited participants in this little thread that it might look to have hetro connection. Altruism is gender neutral
I've seen slut thrown at women/girls who didn't actually sleep with lots of people but were open that they had sex, and expressed that they liked sex. Yes, it is more common to be used about women or girls who have many partners. But if one has many partners, it is assumed by outsiders that one likes and enjoys sex, even if that is not actually true (I'm thinking of many sexual abuse survivors who may have many partners but sometimes don't like sex - they have sex to get other needs met). So I think that the 'enjoys sex' is still critical to understanding.

Altruism is universal but it is expressed in gendered ways. I think having sex for healing reasons is gendered. In our little, very unscientific survey, no men have come forward with situations where they fucked someone to make the other person feel better about themselves. I would be fascinated to read those stories!

I think it is much more common for women to feel this pull to help, to heal. In fact, I feel a bit abnormal in that I don't have this pull. (I'm truly ok with this but it is not the norm for how female type people are 'supposed' to be.) I believe it is connected with women's stereotypical greater empathy. Of course, men can be very empathetic - I am not saying at all that men are not empathetic. But it is seen as a woman's thing - to grok emotions - and men who are empathetic are not particularly rewarded for their skill. In fact, they are sometimes seen as unmanly.

Magdlyn's sacred whores were female (not mentioned in this thread but elsewhere). I'm not surprised that this dynamic happens in same sex, queer, transgendered relationships, including friendships but there seems to be a strong maternal thread here. I'm not seeing a similar paternal thread yet. I'm not saying it doesn't exist but it is suggestive that the 'distaff' side of things hasn't emerged here yet.

Interesting thread!
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