Originally Posted by Anneintherain
And as for your gf feeling ALONE and disconnected when you leave? That could be a combination of things, lonely, sad, she knows you are not hers anymore until your next date and if she dwells on that she will feel unsatisfied in the relationship and not want to be in it. You might feel the same way if you were a single poly and dating a married person, I have heard from one single dating a married person that they know where the relationship begins and ends and there are limits, so letting your emotions be too present when you're not together can lead wanting more than you have and being miserable.
THIS. When your partner has a live-in life partner and you don't, it takes hard work not to focus on a) the fact that you play a lesser role in his or her life, and b) that he or she has this amazing privilege of having a support person there basically 24/7 and you don't.
To the married folk... I know, I know, solo life has its benefits and marriage its downsides. And heck, maybe you've even offered to move your solo partner in with you and got shot down! Maybe this set up is entirely the solo person's choice! That doesn't change the fact that the two of you are living very different lives on a day to day basis, and that the stability and presence of a full-time partner in your life and the absence of such in theirs can create the feeling of a power imbalance, or a void for the solo person. At the very least, it makes a lotta sense that you each might employ some different relational strategies with your other partners.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.