As said previously I didn't realize papillon was a member here. I joined because I have struggled with my feelings and have been trying to figure out myself over the past month, it hasnt been as simple as I broke off with papillon and her husband X was upset so left and that was the end of it. I just wanted to be able to talk to like minded people and see what thier point of view is on the situation.
Me and X where together for about 5 and half years before we coupled with papillon and her husband, we lived together for a year before it happened.
Less than a few days of breaking things off with Papillon and her husband I realized something was wrong I didnt just miss X I missed Papillon alot more than I realized I would and missed her husband. I missed what we had together. Initially this led me to say to X that I would probably be ok with the cross coupling again but needed time, she tried to work things out with me but couldnt as she said she no longer felt the same and didnt want to be limited in her relationships the way I had proposed. so she ended it finally.
I have done alot of soul searching in the past few weeks, read a lot and written a lot about myself, X, papillon and her husband. Everyone keeps saying my mind is changing all the time because I'm desperate to get X back but regardless of if she will be with me again in the future or never I believe I want to persue this, I love papillon very much but am now totally open to other relationships. I wouldnt Leave Papillon if she had other partners and I wouldnt stop X from having further partners. Unfortunately it has taken this turn of events to actually make me realize this about myself.
Right now things are tense becuase I still Love X very much and seeing her with papillons husband and not being able to be with her is hurting a lot. I am jealous of him for this I dont want to be but I am. I care for them both.
X is currently in the process of moving out, we are still living together but she doesn't want to be there and its very difficult atm.
I have made a lot of mistakes and let jealousy rule my emotions when I should have been managing it.
Last edited by knightsaber; 10-17-2011 at 04:06 PM.