Hi I should have probably pointed out, initially the relationship was arranged as a cross couple situation on our side, if one wasn't happy we would stop scenario. I pointed out my problems with seeing her with him and that I was feeling jealous. because she seemed to want him and not me, in actual fact it was more of a problem in our relationship that was causing my issues of jealousy. Primarily me having anxiety issues and us not spending time together because of that, the anxiety also led to me having problems obsessing over certain things. My focus on making X happy was also focused in the wrong areas and this only added to the strain. Unfortunately I was so blinded by my issues at the time I couldn't stop and look at the situation clearly.
Again I don't believe I feel this way because I want her back, I do want her back, but this is how I feel about the idea of being in the cross couple relationship and also being able to live without the restrictions of mono relationship. Its a wonderful thing to be able to have that freedom and X left me because that is what she wanted and I was holding her back from it. Its only afterward that I have realised how beautiful a thing that kind of relationship is, it allowed all that Love into my life and I fell in Love again which was a wonderful feeling. I miss X I miss the other Guy involved I miss us all spending time together that we used to.
X has already decided that my previous/ongoing issues are to much for her to live with and she no longer feels the same about me. that's why shes leaving.
Last edited by knightsaber; 10-16-2011 at 05:57 PM.